second week is over

so i've finished my second week of classes and i'm already nervous for this semester. i think i've gotten into the swing of things but i'm not sure how i'm going to handle all of the work. it's probably more than i've ever had and it's all very complicated material. so this semester is already promising to be very stressful.

also i cant help but think about my lack of major all the time. second semester sophomore year and everyone knows what they're doing but me. i change my mind weekly. it's not good. i think i'm pretty much against accounting now since my managerial class is terribly dull. if i cant get through 3 hours of that i dont know how well i could the next couple of years of class and then the rest of my life in work.

this week's thought: marketing?

market research sounds really interesting.

we'll see how long this one lasts. or how long until my dad expresses disappointment.

side note

random comment, i love this man

he's so pretty!
and i love his accent.



haha sometimes when things get too overwhelming i need to think about stuff like this. just go with it.

yep, still a hot mess

i basically have nothing going on except that i'm a hot mess. that is pretty much defining my life right now.

L left for england today. we miss you already!

ack

so i think it would be very difficult to find someone who is more of a hot mess than i have been so far this week. its clearly not going to be a good week.

work already?

so this is the first weekend of the semester and i already have a lot of work to do. i am not pleased about this development.

also B and i decided that this is the semester where i have a massive freak out about my major/life plans. a freak out so huge that even chocolate will not solve it. its only the first week of school and i've already had a series of mini ones and i can see them building up into a giant one very soon. so i'm a little scared for that. but i'm pretty sure it's inevitable.

oops

so it's been brought to my attention that i havent updated this in a while. my bad.

i moved back into school yesterday. the price of my books is disgusting. the most i've ever spent for one semester. i can look forward to a few more years of that if i decide to be a business major cause even used business books are crazy expensive. and also maybe a few summers or a 5th year... i hate thinking about the future. too much stress.

anyway i cut 5 inches off my hair which now puts it at a normal length. i guess i still kind of look like a hippie, but it's not as bad.

L leaves for england in a few days which is a serious bummer. we'll miss her! but i'm also extremely jealous. maybe i should change my major so that i can study abroad... oh fuck now i'm thinking about the future again.

speaking of the future, my friends from home are all on some sort of a track. i want a track! i need some sort of focus for my life and i think a track is where i should start. Vi is in some sort of intense med program, S is working toward getting into optometry school, H is planning on getting her doctorate in art history, you get the idea. they've all got plans and i havent even declared a major. so being home this break has seriously stressed me out.

so it's nice to be back although i could have used a little more time without classes. here's what i'm taking this semester:

macroeconomics
principles of marketing
managerial accounting
business law I

so that should prove to be interesting.

also looking around the room right now B and i have 4 posters on the floor. we're just stepping over them. they're extremely stubborn posters and they wont stay up.

and for anyone who has been complaining, i will attempt to update this in a timely manner in the future :)

not cool

so i'm getting sick. i hate being sick. and it's C's fault. as is almost everything.

also i finished reading wicked and now i'm moving on to the sequel son of a witch. since i have no life this is all i can do.

but i'm seeing spring awakening in 3 days! wooooo.

monopoly

so yesterday T brought the old gang back together to play monopoly again. i dont think we've played it since the summer before freshman year of college yay for bringing back old traditions. we started playing electronic monopoly but that was pretty dull (credit cards really take away from watching someone slowly die) so we switched back to the old game which got pretty intense. basically the whole board was a monopoly. but i landed on too many before i could build up mine so i went bankrupt :( so much for being a business major.

G should have won but then there was cake so she gave all her stuff to J who won the game. haha. monopoly gets pretty cutthroat. except when there's cake involved.

also church lasted too long today. and my dad says that he wants to go to a real church when we move. i dont want to go to a real church! i like my small military one. they have bagels. that's what gets me out of bed on sundays. not cool.

happy new years!

so i just spent 3 and a half days in fair lawn and it was awesome.

but sleeping on B's floor with a bunch of other people is not as comfortable as i would like it to be. i also havent gotten enough sleep and i'm delirious. i'm not sure if the following blog post will make any sense.

i came home from fair lawn this morning and went straight to get a physical (i'm still not really sure why, but whatever). i got that guardasil shot thing. my mom has been debating whether or not F and i should get it for like 2 years now and so when she said that i was going to get it i assumed she had made a decision. i was wrong. while sitting in the waiting room she asked me if all my friends have it (i have no idea, i try to avoid talking about shots) and then proceeded to give me reasons why i should and should not get this shot. and then after the nurse left the room after just telling her that she wanted us to get the shot she continued the debate with herself. i dont like shots. in fact i get closer to passing out every time i get one. and it didnt help that right after that they took more of my blood than i was willing to let go of. it wasnt cool. especially since my mother continued the debate up until the shot was actually in my arm.

the problem here is that i will have to get that shot two more times. so i'll probably get to here more of this stupid one person debate.

anyway, the point here is that i'm not sure if i'm living my own life anymore. my opinions on this shot were never considered even though i am old enough by law to make these decisions on my own. just a small example of a problem on a bigger scale. as is my life.